PROLOGUEDIAMONDS. ASS. PATRICK. POOP.
Long ago, the four items lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when Fluffy put them in his ass.
Only a mod, master of all four timeouts, could stop him. But when the chat needed one most, they were asleep.
231 days have passed and he still has not run out. Some people think he will. We have the numbers. He will not.
CHAPTER ONE
The Inventory
The twenty five things he says are up there the most. Counted, ranked, no further questions.
of them were submitted in prayer 
he always prays first.
CHAPTER TWO231 Days in the Air
Daily output since takeoff. It started small. CARROTS IN MY ASS, February 18, five in the morning, nobody asked.
CHAPTER THREE
Office Hours
He keeps a schedule. All times US Eastern.
BY HOUR, ET
BY WEEKDAY, ET
CHAPTER FOUR
Records and Honors
Every sky bison has a highlight reel. This is his.
CHAPTER FIVE
Selected Readings
Read out loud from the archive, exactly as he typed them.